Everything seems to be going quite nicely. Then WHAM! I feel like crap. Awesome.
Friggin' mood swings.
GAH.
I just want to find someone who is going to be there for me when I need it most. Someone who will text me just to say "what's up". Someone who will genuinely ask how I'm doing. Someone who will take an interest in my life. Someone who is willing to make the commitment for the long haul and love me for me.
I guess my feelings get ahead of my mind because I thought, for a brief second, I had found that person.
Then the WHAM! moment happens and I am down on my knees and wondering if it'll ever happen to me. That someone, not me, will take the initiative and care about me and ask me the questions.
I guess I just want the feeling that someone of pure happiness that comes from texting or calling you to let you know you're being thought of. It's the smile on your face when you realize they are the perfect person for you. That although they aren't without their faults, their perfections outweigh their imperfections by a landslide. That's the kind of thing I'm waiting for. And right now it doesn't seen like I'll get it.
I just wish I knew what was going to happen. Why did God let me have this feelings? I have never experienced anything like this, so why taunt me with them and then take it away, leaving me wanting and feeling empty? It's not fair. It quite frankly sucks. And I'm sick of feeling this way.
GOD WHY DID YOU LET ME FEEL THIS WAY?!
I really wish I had never had these feelings. Especially since they have led to such disappointment and cruel emotions.
Is this something really too hard to ask for?
I don't know why I feel this way. But I don't like it.
