takes a lot of guts.
Trusting in God takes even more.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Safe and Sound (and somewhat overwhelmed).
Made it home from San Fran yesterday!
It was an amazing trip and God showed up in some amazing, amazing ways! During our seven performances and six days traveling up down down the Northern CA area it was great to see the community God is building within the choir.
Favorite part of the trip had to be Saturday. Waking up early and dressing in black and jeans, a nice change out of the normal slate gray suit and royal blue blouse (the norm Choralons attire) we headed down to the Tenderloin district. Ridden with crime and grime I was pretty intimidated driving down the busy streets of this huge city, which had the highest crime rate in the district. Our destination led us to this little park outside of the San Fran Gospel Mission. It was here that we had the amazing oppurtunity to make sandwiches, put together grocery bags, and then sing for the homeless and needy of the surrounding area. It was such an amazing experience being able to worship God in this crime infested city and seeing the potential that God had to be able to move and do miracles for and in these lost people.
For me, it was awesome to be able to have a sort of prequal to the things I feel God is leading me to do. I would love to get involved in missions right here in the U.S. (my point of interest being Nashville) so it was amazing to get the chance to experience first hand the kind of things I'll be seeing in the future.
Anyways, I am back in Washington, spending a couple days with my family up in Marysville, sleeping and writing that darn paper I decided to put off until the last minute (gotta love college!)... it's been a great, great Spring break and it still isn't over!
On the other hand, coming home brought with it some unexpected dilemmas. My receptionist job that I've been working at has kind of fallen throuhg the cracks as my list of things to-do has gotten bigger. I'm afraid if I quit though I won't have enough money to sustain myself... So, that's one are where I'm needing guidance from God.
The other is one on a more personal level but I'm sure God will reveal what is needed for me to do soon (I hope...). I'm kind of getting impatient with not knowing. And frankly, quite scared. I'm not sure if God is wanting me to take the plunge or if I am better suited just sitting on the sidelines. Because it's not just my personal feelings and well-being involved in this, there are others as well.
The thing is, I will feel like I'm hearing from God, telling me one thing and then I will be like, wait, that can't be right! I'm scared because I feel like I can't trust my feelings, that they will only lead to destruction, so I must turn to God, who I'm not sure is even saying anything at this point. I don't want to be stuck in the limbo stage anymore because I feel it's only going to bring destruction if I continue on in it. The gray area, the yellow line, isn't one that is trodden easily and eventually it's going to hurt someone...
Anyways, that is where I am at right now. I am also very hungry due to the fact that I haven't eaten dinner yet. I should perhaps find something to eat so I'm not totally starving when the family finally decides to go to Red Robin :) In the meantime I am listening to the faint cries of my dad and brother as they battle World 9 in Mario and as my thoughts continue to come out as a blur I am trusting God, trusting that He will reveal what I need to go in the coming weeks. In Him I know everything will turn out alright..
It was an amazing trip and God showed up in some amazing, amazing ways! During our seven performances and six days traveling up down down the Northern CA area it was great to see the community God is building within the choir.
Favorite part of the trip had to be Saturday. Waking up early and dressing in black and jeans, a nice change out of the normal slate gray suit and royal blue blouse (the norm Choralons attire) we headed down to the Tenderloin district. Ridden with crime and grime I was pretty intimidated driving down the busy streets of this huge city, which had the highest crime rate in the district. Our destination led us to this little park outside of the San Fran Gospel Mission. It was here that we had the amazing oppurtunity to make sandwiches, put together grocery bags, and then sing for the homeless and needy of the surrounding area. It was such an amazing experience being able to worship God in this crime infested city and seeing the potential that God had to be able to move and do miracles for and in these lost people.
For me, it was awesome to be able to have a sort of prequal to the things I feel God is leading me to do. I would love to get involved in missions right here in the U.S. (my point of interest being Nashville) so it was amazing to get the chance to experience first hand the kind of things I'll be seeing in the future.
Anyways, I am back in Washington, spending a couple days with my family up in Marysville, sleeping and writing that darn paper I decided to put off until the last minute (gotta love college!)... it's been a great, great Spring break and it still isn't over!
On the other hand, coming home brought with it some unexpected dilemmas. My receptionist job that I've been working at has kind of fallen throuhg the cracks as my list of things to-do has gotten bigger. I'm afraid if I quit though I won't have enough money to sustain myself... So, that's one are where I'm needing guidance from God.
The other is one on a more personal level but I'm sure God will reveal what is needed for me to do soon (I hope...). I'm kind of getting impatient with not knowing. And frankly, quite scared. I'm not sure if God is wanting me to take the plunge or if I am better suited just sitting on the sidelines. Because it's not just my personal feelings and well-being involved in this, there are others as well.
The thing is, I will feel like I'm hearing from God, telling me one thing and then I will be like, wait, that can't be right! I'm scared because I feel like I can't trust my feelings, that they will only lead to destruction, so I must turn to God, who I'm not sure is even saying anything at this point. I don't want to be stuck in the limbo stage anymore because I feel it's only going to bring destruction if I continue on in it. The gray area, the yellow line, isn't one that is trodden easily and eventually it's going to hurt someone...
Anyways, that is where I am at right now. I am also very hungry due to the fact that I haven't eaten dinner yet. I should perhaps find something to eat so I'm not totally starving when the family finally decides to go to Red Robin :) In the meantime I am listening to the faint cries of my dad and brother as they battle World 9 in Mario and as my thoughts continue to come out as a blur I am trusting God, trusting that He will reveal what I need to go in the coming weeks. In Him I know everything will turn out alright..
Thursday, March 4, 2010
3/4/10 - Spring Break!
Good morning! It is a rainy and misty day here in Kirkland, WA. But that's ok with me! My midterms are over and done with and at exactly 4am tomorrow morning I will be heading to Northern California for my school's choir trip!
Now, at first I wasn't too excited by this but you know what, I'm going to make the most of this trip and I have to say I am pretty stoked to hit up San Fran and go to Chinatown and take the Monorail and just people watch!
So, in the meantime I have a list of things that need to get done between now and 4am... for example:
Paint fingernails
Do laundry
Pack
Go to Target/Ross to find black pants and perhaps a new dress?
Start my paper for my Corinthians class
Return books to the library
Clean my room
Sounds fun, right?! :)
I am SO excited to be out of school for the next 10 days and to have nothing to worry about except for getting sun burned (or rained on in this case since it's been raining the past week in San Fran). Either way, I know God is going to show up in amazing ways this week and I am just so happy to be able to be apart of that. It's going to be a tiring but super fun week (fingers crossed!) and frankly, I'm just excited to escape NU for a while!
So, it is now 11:35am on Thursday and my blog is now done. Off to lunch and then let the madness begin! :)
Now, at first I wasn't too excited by this but you know what, I'm going to make the most of this trip and I have to say I am pretty stoked to hit up San Fran and go to Chinatown and take the Monorail and just people watch!
So, in the meantime I have a list of things that need to get done between now and 4am... for example:
Paint fingernails
Do laundry
Pack
Go to Target/Ross to find black pants and perhaps a new dress?
Start my paper for my Corinthians class
Return books to the library
Clean my room
Sounds fun, right?! :)
I am SO excited to be out of school for the next 10 days and to have nothing to worry about except for getting sun burned (or rained on in this case since it's been raining the past week in San Fran). Either way, I know God is going to show up in amazing ways this week and I am just so happy to be able to be apart of that. It's going to be a tiring but super fun week (fingers crossed!) and frankly, I'm just excited to escape NU for a while!
So, it is now 11:35am on Thursday and my blog is now done. Off to lunch and then let the madness begin! :)
Monday, March 1, 2010
Head Held High.
"Head Held High" by Warren Barfield
They say you learn from your mistakes
Well I guess I should be a genius
For all the times I’ve fallen on my face
Tangled in my weakness
Wishing someone would say
Keep your head held high
Don’t stop believing
You are God’s child
And His strength is stronger than your weakness
Keep your head held high
Well it’s a crying shame
We’re walking around with our secrets
So afraid of what others might think
Living safe and living defeated
Wanting someone to say
We should confess our sin
We should love
Church, it’s time we begin
To build one another up
Come on
Keep your head held high
Don’t stop, don’t stop believing, no
You are God’s child
And His strength is stronger than your weakness
Keep your head held high
Don’t stop, don’t stop believing
You are God’s child
And His strength is stronger than your weakness
Keep your head held high
They say you learn from your mistakes
Well I guess I should be a genius
For all the times I’ve fallen on my face
Tangled in my weakness
Wishing someone would say
Keep your head held high
Don’t stop believing
You are God’s child
And His strength is stronger than your weakness
Keep your head held high
Well it’s a crying shame
We’re walking around with our secrets
So afraid of what others might think
Living safe and living defeated
Wanting someone to say
We should confess our sin
We should love
Church, it’s time we begin
To build one another up
Come on
Keep your head held high
Don’t stop, don’t stop believing, no
You are God’s child
And His strength is stronger than your weakness
Keep your head held high
Don’t stop, don’t stop believing
You are God’s child
And His strength is stronger than your weakness
Keep your head held high
Mountains out of Molehills.
It's funny how big an issue can look when you're in it and then you take a step back and you realize "hey, that wasn't so bad after all!" (Plus, it helps when you have a great mom who will listen to you whenever and about whatever... especially regarding situations that seem to be the central point of conversation for many of the talks).
I am work at the moment. Just finished an iced tall soy latte :) I should probably be working on my book review thingy for New Testament but I felt like a blog was necessary so that I may digest my own thoughts before becoming overwhelmed with the various thoughts of Bruce W. Longenecker (the author of the "Lost Letters of Pergamum").
I had a fantastically amazing weekend! Saturday I slept until the glorious hour of 12:15 in the afternoon. The rest of the day was spent doing homework while conversing with some incredible people. Dinner was eaten with my dear friends Josiah, Trinity, Luke, and Brian in the caf (which happened to serve one of the best meals they have yet to make all semester!) and after a run to Target and a spontaneous trip to the park my Saturday night was quite spent and I was a very happy girl when I finally lay down and falling asleep to the music stylings of Hillsong I was quite at peace (yes, I realize how long that sentence was!).
Yesterday, Sunday I had the pleasure of attending church at Overlake. It was SO SO nice being at a church again without being obligated to sing for hundreds of people. It was nice to sit among the youth of the Student Ministries and just be "Brie" without any previous engagements hanging in the air. Lunch and the rest of the day was spent with the aforementioned Josiah Harmon and his family. It was a splendid time and the night resolved quite successfully.
So, why did I mention being overwhelmed with little situations? Why did I make it a point to address that sometimes we make mountains out of molehills? Because we do. And although yesterday was an amazingly relaxing and enjoyable day, I became victim of this theory and was completely overwhelmed upon reaching Northwest later last night. I was so overwhelmed by this very insignificant situation that I have not been able to stop worrying about it all day until just a few minutes ago when I hung up with my mom.
Our minds over think things to such a great extent sometimes it makes me wonder what God is thinking up there in Heaven when we suddenly become so involved in our own situations...
"My child!" He would say, "Do not worry! You see the fields of flowers and how elegantly dressed they are! How much more do I care about YOU, My child, whom I sent My Son to die for, than those flowers? Do not worry! You are forever under and in My hand. Relax in Me". He would then smile, pick us up, dust us off and kiss us gently on the forehead. Placing us under His hand we would once again begin out journey down this road called life.
Guys, I am the first person to freak out about a situation, to get the butterflies in the stomach and to feel completely overwhelmed. But it is not worth it! Believe me! God has everything under control, He KNOWS what has happened, what is happening, and what's going to happen. He knows, sees, and controls all and He won't let us fail. Our little finite mistakes are NOTHING compared to the great plan He has for my life, your life, our lives. A very wise woman once told me "We aren't big enough to mess up God's plan for our lives" and I think she was very right. We aren't big enough to mess His purpose, His plan, His way for our life so why do we worry and make little things seem bigger than they are?
With God we have nothing to fear, even the past, even the future.
I am work at the moment. Just finished an iced tall soy latte :) I should probably be working on my book review thingy for New Testament but I felt like a blog was necessary so that I may digest my own thoughts before becoming overwhelmed with the various thoughts of Bruce W. Longenecker (the author of the "Lost Letters of Pergamum").
I had a fantastically amazing weekend! Saturday I slept until the glorious hour of 12:15 in the afternoon. The rest of the day was spent doing homework while conversing with some incredible people. Dinner was eaten with my dear friends Josiah, Trinity, Luke, and Brian in the caf (which happened to serve one of the best meals they have yet to make all semester!) and after a run to Target and a spontaneous trip to the park my Saturday night was quite spent and I was a very happy girl when I finally lay down and falling asleep to the music stylings of Hillsong I was quite at peace (yes, I realize how long that sentence was!).
Yesterday, Sunday I had the pleasure of attending church at Overlake. It was SO SO nice being at a church again without being obligated to sing for hundreds of people. It was nice to sit among the youth of the Student Ministries and just be "Brie" without any previous engagements hanging in the air. Lunch and the rest of the day was spent with the aforementioned Josiah Harmon and his family. It was a splendid time and the night resolved quite successfully.
So, why did I mention being overwhelmed with little situations? Why did I make it a point to address that sometimes we make mountains out of molehills? Because we do. And although yesterday was an amazingly relaxing and enjoyable day, I became victim of this theory and was completely overwhelmed upon reaching Northwest later last night. I was so overwhelmed by this very insignificant situation that I have not been able to stop worrying about it all day until just a few minutes ago when I hung up with my mom.
Our minds over think things to such a great extent sometimes it makes me wonder what God is thinking up there in Heaven when we suddenly become so involved in our own situations...
"My child!" He would say, "Do not worry! You see the fields of flowers and how elegantly dressed they are! How much more do I care about YOU, My child, whom I sent My Son to die for, than those flowers? Do not worry! You are forever under and in My hand. Relax in Me". He would then smile, pick us up, dust us off and kiss us gently on the forehead. Placing us under His hand we would once again begin out journey down this road called life.
Guys, I am the first person to freak out about a situation, to get the butterflies in the stomach and to feel completely overwhelmed. But it is not worth it! Believe me! God has everything under control, He KNOWS what has happened, what is happening, and what's going to happen. He knows, sees, and controls all and He won't let us fail. Our little finite mistakes are NOTHING compared to the great plan He has for my life, your life, our lives. A very wise woman once told me "We aren't big enough to mess up God's plan for our lives" and I think she was very right. We aren't big enough to mess His purpose, His plan, His way for our life so why do we worry and make little things seem bigger than they are?
With God we have nothing to fear, even the past, even the future.
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