So....
I have been in "summer mode" for three weeks now. It's been pretty uneventful overall but it's definitely had it's more exciting moments. For example last Sunday on my way to my friend Carly's house my car broke down in Redmond. Eventful. After spending the night at her house my car still wasn't fixed and she had to work... so, the rest of the my morning I sat in McDonald's in Bellevue (approximately 6 blocks from the mechanic) and waited to hear something about my car. Alas, the mechanic in Redmond did not fix my car, but thank God for an amazing best friend who came to my rescue and followed me back to Marysville just in case my car broke down on the freeway! So, yeah that has been pretty much the most eventful event during my summer vacation thus far.
I am nannying four days this week which I am frankly really happy about:) It's kinda funny how a person can go from being semi anti-kid to nannying four days a week.... God definitely has a way in changing our hearts and remolding and refashioning them to what He wants them to look like. I know it's small, but I think it's amazing how He can change even the smallest desires in our hearts to better fit Him and His Kingdom...
Anyways, thus is my summer... only 2 and a half months to go!! :)
Monday, May 24, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Thus starts my summer vacation.
Woke up at 6am to babysit this morning after a horrible night sleep. Oh well, I suppose that's what happens when you take an almost 2 hour nap that close to your "bedtime".
Like I said above, I am babysitting this morning. One of the easiest gigs in the world unless you have the child behaving like mine did this morning and it turns into one of the most frustrating jobs of your life!
It's the worst feeling having a kid crying and you don't know why. He cries "Mamma" but his mom is showering, so you distract him with toys, food, anything to get him to stop crying but alas, the tears continue. My least favorite part are the temper tantrums. I honestly have no idea how to handle them. I try ignoring them but then his screams get louder! A deep feeling of inadequacy washes over me as I struggle to think of what to do. Finally, his mom opens the door tells him to come into her bedroom to help relieve some of his cries and I am left in the living room, feeling well, desperate and quite useless in my attempt to calm him down.
It's times like these that I have no idea how I will ever handle being a mom. Honestly, I have so much respect for moms in general since starting to babysit again. I will feel like I got this whole "maternal instinct" thing down then something like this happens: nothing like a crying baby to make you humble. Seriously.
Anyways, thus has been my summer vacation thus far. It can only go up from here ;)
Like I said above, I am babysitting this morning. One of the easiest gigs in the world unless you have the child behaving like mine did this morning and it turns into one of the most frustrating jobs of your life!
It's the worst feeling having a kid crying and you don't know why. He cries "Mamma" but his mom is showering, so you distract him with toys, food, anything to get him to stop crying but alas, the tears continue. My least favorite part are the temper tantrums. I honestly have no idea how to handle them. I try ignoring them but then his screams get louder! A deep feeling of inadequacy washes over me as I struggle to think of what to do. Finally, his mom opens the door tells him to come into her bedroom to help relieve some of his cries and I am left in the living room, feeling well, desperate and quite useless in my attempt to calm him down.
It's times like these that I have no idea how I will ever handle being a mom. Honestly, I have so much respect for moms in general since starting to babysit again. I will feel like I got this whole "maternal instinct" thing down then something like this happens: nothing like a crying baby to make you humble. Seriously.
Anyways, thus has been my summer vacation thus far. It can only go up from here ;)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Euphoria in it's definition...
Euphoria: A feeling of great happiness or well-being.
My current state of being :)
I am extremely blessed, almost to an unbelievable degree. I can't believe the things God has given me; I feel so loved. I can't even express it in it's fullness because words would not do it justice. Let me tell you this: it is the best feeling I think I have felt up to this point.
I'm really trying to keep my emotions in check but when the source of happiness appears all around me, I have a hard time keeping it down - thus euphoria :)
It's funny how one thing can make your entire week and keep you going even when things don't look up. It's crazy how one thing can transform your entire week for the better, making you feel happier than you've been in a long time. It's a great and grand feeling!
Ahhhh. Breathe in the contentment and satisfaction that comes with bliss and drink in all it's emotion - the happiness and relief it results in. I am a happy creature, and am extremely undeserving of such a kindness, but there it is and I can't rid myself of this feeling! So, live on euphoric spirit and keep me hoping on :)
My current state of being :)
I am extremely blessed, almost to an unbelievable degree. I can't believe the things God has given me; I feel so loved. I can't even express it in it's fullness because words would not do it justice. Let me tell you this: it is the best feeling I think I have felt up to this point.
I'm really trying to keep my emotions in check but when the source of happiness appears all around me, I have a hard time keeping it down - thus euphoria :)
It's funny how one thing can make your entire week and keep you going even when things don't look up. It's crazy how one thing can transform your entire week for the better, making you feel happier than you've been in a long time. It's a great and grand feeling!
Ahhhh. Breathe in the contentment and satisfaction that comes with bliss and drink in all it's emotion - the happiness and relief it results in. I am a happy creature, and am extremely undeserving of such a kindness, but there it is and I can't rid myself of this feeling! So, live on euphoric spirit and keep me hoping on :)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Happiness!
God always has my best interest in mind, and His best interest always exceeds my own expectations. I am under His covering and He, my glorious and mighty God, is looking out for me!
It's funny how we can feel like God isn't there and we start to doubt and in a moment of complete panic, when we finally realize He is all we have, we cry out in desperation, "Hey God, if you want me to do this...do this and I'll believe!" or "Do this thing and I'll know if you want me to take this path!" Well, that happened to me this week, and I realized something: God is looking out for me. He answers even the silliest prayers!!!!
This realization has totally transformed my week, and it's only Tuesday! I am on cloud 9 right now and I probably won't be coming down any time soon :) It's awesome knowing that God is in control, that His hand is in everything we do, and that I have people that I can turn to when I am in need of a ear to listen.
I've met some amazing people this year at NU. Really, like I am so incredibly blessed. These people completely blow my mind by their total trust in God and willingness to just sit down with me and discuss things out with me. I have no idea how I ever came to deserve such good friends...
I'm actually looking forward to next fall as well, which is a huge change from what I was feeling! I'm realizing that although I'll be living on a different floor from the rest of my 200 floor friends, it is possible to still be friends with them, as silly as that realization sounds! I'm excited to see what God has in store for the upcoming fall because this year has definitely changed me, and I can't wait to see the kind of person I am this time next year!
I just want to encourage you guys that God does listen to prayers and that He does give us the desires of our hearts even if they require a long waiting period. God doesn't forget our past prayers and He's always looking out for us!
It's funny how we can feel like God isn't there and we start to doubt and in a moment of complete panic, when we finally realize He is all we have, we cry out in desperation, "Hey God, if you want me to do this...do this and I'll believe!" or "Do this thing and I'll know if you want me to take this path!" Well, that happened to me this week, and I realized something: God is looking out for me. He answers even the silliest prayers!!!!
This realization has totally transformed my week, and it's only Tuesday! I am on cloud 9 right now and I probably won't be coming down any time soon :) It's awesome knowing that God is in control, that His hand is in everything we do, and that I have people that I can turn to when I am in need of a ear to listen.
I've met some amazing people this year at NU. Really, like I am so incredibly blessed. These people completely blow my mind by their total trust in God and willingness to just sit down with me and discuss things out with me. I have no idea how I ever came to deserve such good friends...
I'm actually looking forward to next fall as well, which is a huge change from what I was feeling! I'm realizing that although I'll be living on a different floor from the rest of my 200 floor friends, it is possible to still be friends with them, as silly as that realization sounds! I'm excited to see what God has in store for the upcoming fall because this year has definitely changed me, and I can't wait to see the kind of person I am this time next year!
I just want to encourage you guys that God does listen to prayers and that He does give us the desires of our hearts even if they require a long waiting period. God doesn't forget our past prayers and He's always looking out for us!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Safe and Sound (and somewhat overwhelmed).
Made it home from San Fran yesterday!
It was an amazing trip and God showed up in some amazing, amazing ways! During our seven performances and six days traveling up down down the Northern CA area it was great to see the community God is building within the choir.
Favorite part of the trip had to be Saturday. Waking up early and dressing in black and jeans, a nice change out of the normal slate gray suit and royal blue blouse (the norm Choralons attire) we headed down to the Tenderloin district. Ridden with crime and grime I was pretty intimidated driving down the busy streets of this huge city, which had the highest crime rate in the district. Our destination led us to this little park outside of the San Fran Gospel Mission. It was here that we had the amazing oppurtunity to make sandwiches, put together grocery bags, and then sing for the homeless and needy of the surrounding area. It was such an amazing experience being able to worship God in this crime infested city and seeing the potential that God had to be able to move and do miracles for and in these lost people.
For me, it was awesome to be able to have a sort of prequal to the things I feel God is leading me to do. I would love to get involved in missions right here in the U.S. (my point of interest being Nashville) so it was amazing to get the chance to experience first hand the kind of things I'll be seeing in the future.
Anyways, I am back in Washington, spending a couple days with my family up in Marysville, sleeping and writing that darn paper I decided to put off until the last minute (gotta love college!)... it's been a great, great Spring break and it still isn't over!
On the other hand, coming home brought with it some unexpected dilemmas. My receptionist job that I've been working at has kind of fallen throuhg the cracks as my list of things to-do has gotten bigger. I'm afraid if I quit though I won't have enough money to sustain myself... So, that's one are where I'm needing guidance from God.
The other is one on a more personal level but I'm sure God will reveal what is needed for me to do soon (I hope...). I'm kind of getting impatient with not knowing. And frankly, quite scared. I'm not sure if God is wanting me to take the plunge or if I am better suited just sitting on the sidelines. Because it's not just my personal feelings and well-being involved in this, there are others as well.
The thing is, I will feel like I'm hearing from God, telling me one thing and then I will be like, wait, that can't be right! I'm scared because I feel like I can't trust my feelings, that they will only lead to destruction, so I must turn to God, who I'm not sure is even saying anything at this point. I don't want to be stuck in the limbo stage anymore because I feel it's only going to bring destruction if I continue on in it. The gray area, the yellow line, isn't one that is trodden easily and eventually it's going to hurt someone...
Anyways, that is where I am at right now. I am also very hungry due to the fact that I haven't eaten dinner yet. I should perhaps find something to eat so I'm not totally starving when the family finally decides to go to Red Robin :) In the meantime I am listening to the faint cries of my dad and brother as they battle World 9 in Mario and as my thoughts continue to come out as a blur I am trusting God, trusting that He will reveal what I need to go in the coming weeks. In Him I know everything will turn out alright..
It was an amazing trip and God showed up in some amazing, amazing ways! During our seven performances and six days traveling up down down the Northern CA area it was great to see the community God is building within the choir.
Favorite part of the trip had to be Saturday. Waking up early and dressing in black and jeans, a nice change out of the normal slate gray suit and royal blue blouse (the norm Choralons attire) we headed down to the Tenderloin district. Ridden with crime and grime I was pretty intimidated driving down the busy streets of this huge city, which had the highest crime rate in the district. Our destination led us to this little park outside of the San Fran Gospel Mission. It was here that we had the amazing oppurtunity to make sandwiches, put together grocery bags, and then sing for the homeless and needy of the surrounding area. It was such an amazing experience being able to worship God in this crime infested city and seeing the potential that God had to be able to move and do miracles for and in these lost people.
For me, it was awesome to be able to have a sort of prequal to the things I feel God is leading me to do. I would love to get involved in missions right here in the U.S. (my point of interest being Nashville) so it was amazing to get the chance to experience first hand the kind of things I'll be seeing in the future.
Anyways, I am back in Washington, spending a couple days with my family up in Marysville, sleeping and writing that darn paper I decided to put off until the last minute (gotta love college!)... it's been a great, great Spring break and it still isn't over!
On the other hand, coming home brought with it some unexpected dilemmas. My receptionist job that I've been working at has kind of fallen throuhg the cracks as my list of things to-do has gotten bigger. I'm afraid if I quit though I won't have enough money to sustain myself... So, that's one are where I'm needing guidance from God.
The other is one on a more personal level but I'm sure God will reveal what is needed for me to do soon (I hope...). I'm kind of getting impatient with not knowing. And frankly, quite scared. I'm not sure if God is wanting me to take the plunge or if I am better suited just sitting on the sidelines. Because it's not just my personal feelings and well-being involved in this, there are others as well.
The thing is, I will feel like I'm hearing from God, telling me one thing and then I will be like, wait, that can't be right! I'm scared because I feel like I can't trust my feelings, that they will only lead to destruction, so I must turn to God, who I'm not sure is even saying anything at this point. I don't want to be stuck in the limbo stage anymore because I feel it's only going to bring destruction if I continue on in it. The gray area, the yellow line, isn't one that is trodden easily and eventually it's going to hurt someone...
Anyways, that is where I am at right now. I am also very hungry due to the fact that I haven't eaten dinner yet. I should perhaps find something to eat so I'm not totally starving when the family finally decides to go to Red Robin :) In the meantime I am listening to the faint cries of my dad and brother as they battle World 9 in Mario and as my thoughts continue to come out as a blur I am trusting God, trusting that He will reveal what I need to go in the coming weeks. In Him I know everything will turn out alright..
Thursday, March 4, 2010
3/4/10 - Spring Break!
Good morning! It is a rainy and misty day here in Kirkland, WA. But that's ok with me! My midterms are over and done with and at exactly 4am tomorrow morning I will be heading to Northern California for my school's choir trip!
Now, at first I wasn't too excited by this but you know what, I'm going to make the most of this trip and I have to say I am pretty stoked to hit up San Fran and go to Chinatown and take the Monorail and just people watch!
So, in the meantime I have a list of things that need to get done between now and 4am... for example:
Paint fingernails
Do laundry
Pack
Go to Target/Ross to find black pants and perhaps a new dress?
Start my paper for my Corinthians class
Return books to the library
Clean my room
Sounds fun, right?! :)
I am SO excited to be out of school for the next 10 days and to have nothing to worry about except for getting sun burned (or rained on in this case since it's been raining the past week in San Fran). Either way, I know God is going to show up in amazing ways this week and I am just so happy to be able to be apart of that. It's going to be a tiring but super fun week (fingers crossed!) and frankly, I'm just excited to escape NU for a while!
So, it is now 11:35am on Thursday and my blog is now done. Off to lunch and then let the madness begin! :)
Now, at first I wasn't too excited by this but you know what, I'm going to make the most of this trip and I have to say I am pretty stoked to hit up San Fran and go to Chinatown and take the Monorail and just people watch!
So, in the meantime I have a list of things that need to get done between now and 4am... for example:
Paint fingernails
Do laundry
Pack
Go to Target/Ross to find black pants and perhaps a new dress?
Start my paper for my Corinthians class
Return books to the library
Clean my room
Sounds fun, right?! :)
I am SO excited to be out of school for the next 10 days and to have nothing to worry about except for getting sun burned (or rained on in this case since it's been raining the past week in San Fran). Either way, I know God is going to show up in amazing ways this week and I am just so happy to be able to be apart of that. It's going to be a tiring but super fun week (fingers crossed!) and frankly, I'm just excited to escape NU for a while!
So, it is now 11:35am on Thursday and my blog is now done. Off to lunch and then let the madness begin! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)