So....
I have been in "summer mode" for three weeks now. It's been pretty uneventful overall but it's definitely had it's more exciting moments. For example last Sunday on my way to my friend Carly's house my car broke down in Redmond. Eventful. After spending the night at her house my car still wasn't fixed and she had to work... so, the rest of the my morning I sat in McDonald's in Bellevue (approximately 6 blocks from the mechanic) and waited to hear something about my car. Alas, the mechanic in Redmond did not fix my car, but thank God for an amazing best friend who came to my rescue and followed me back to Marysville just in case my car broke down on the freeway! So, yeah that has been pretty much the most eventful event during my summer vacation thus far.
I am nannying four days this week which I am frankly really happy about:) It's kinda funny how a person can go from being semi anti-kid to nannying four days a week.... God definitely has a way in changing our hearts and remolding and refashioning them to what He wants them to look like. I know it's small, but I think it's amazing how He can change even the smallest desires in our hearts to better fit Him and His Kingdom...
Anyways, thus is my summer... only 2 and a half months to go!! :)
Monday, May 24, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Thus starts my summer vacation.
Woke up at 6am to babysit this morning after a horrible night sleep. Oh well, I suppose that's what happens when you take an almost 2 hour nap that close to your "bedtime".
Like I said above, I am babysitting this morning. One of the easiest gigs in the world unless you have the child behaving like mine did this morning and it turns into one of the most frustrating jobs of your life!
It's the worst feeling having a kid crying and you don't know why. He cries "Mamma" but his mom is showering, so you distract him with toys, food, anything to get him to stop crying but alas, the tears continue. My least favorite part are the temper tantrums. I honestly have no idea how to handle them. I try ignoring them but then his screams get louder! A deep feeling of inadequacy washes over me as I struggle to think of what to do. Finally, his mom opens the door tells him to come into her bedroom to help relieve some of his cries and I am left in the living room, feeling well, desperate and quite useless in my attempt to calm him down.
It's times like these that I have no idea how I will ever handle being a mom. Honestly, I have so much respect for moms in general since starting to babysit again. I will feel like I got this whole "maternal instinct" thing down then something like this happens: nothing like a crying baby to make you humble. Seriously.
Anyways, thus has been my summer vacation thus far. It can only go up from here ;)
Like I said above, I am babysitting this morning. One of the easiest gigs in the world unless you have the child behaving like mine did this morning and it turns into one of the most frustrating jobs of your life!
It's the worst feeling having a kid crying and you don't know why. He cries "Mamma" but his mom is showering, so you distract him with toys, food, anything to get him to stop crying but alas, the tears continue. My least favorite part are the temper tantrums. I honestly have no idea how to handle them. I try ignoring them but then his screams get louder! A deep feeling of inadequacy washes over me as I struggle to think of what to do. Finally, his mom opens the door tells him to come into her bedroom to help relieve some of his cries and I am left in the living room, feeling well, desperate and quite useless in my attempt to calm him down.
It's times like these that I have no idea how I will ever handle being a mom. Honestly, I have so much respect for moms in general since starting to babysit again. I will feel like I got this whole "maternal instinct" thing down then something like this happens: nothing like a crying baby to make you humble. Seriously.
Anyways, thus has been my summer vacation thus far. It can only go up from here ;)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Euphoria in it's definition...
Euphoria: A feeling of great happiness or well-being.
My current state of being :)
I am extremely blessed, almost to an unbelievable degree. I can't believe the things God has given me; I feel so loved. I can't even express it in it's fullness because words would not do it justice. Let me tell you this: it is the best feeling I think I have felt up to this point.
I'm really trying to keep my emotions in check but when the source of happiness appears all around me, I have a hard time keeping it down - thus euphoria :)
It's funny how one thing can make your entire week and keep you going even when things don't look up. It's crazy how one thing can transform your entire week for the better, making you feel happier than you've been in a long time. It's a great and grand feeling!
Ahhhh. Breathe in the contentment and satisfaction that comes with bliss and drink in all it's emotion - the happiness and relief it results in. I am a happy creature, and am extremely undeserving of such a kindness, but there it is and I can't rid myself of this feeling! So, live on euphoric spirit and keep me hoping on :)
My current state of being :)
I am extremely blessed, almost to an unbelievable degree. I can't believe the things God has given me; I feel so loved. I can't even express it in it's fullness because words would not do it justice. Let me tell you this: it is the best feeling I think I have felt up to this point.
I'm really trying to keep my emotions in check but when the source of happiness appears all around me, I have a hard time keeping it down - thus euphoria :)
It's funny how one thing can make your entire week and keep you going even when things don't look up. It's crazy how one thing can transform your entire week for the better, making you feel happier than you've been in a long time. It's a great and grand feeling!
Ahhhh. Breathe in the contentment and satisfaction that comes with bliss and drink in all it's emotion - the happiness and relief it results in. I am a happy creature, and am extremely undeserving of such a kindness, but there it is and I can't rid myself of this feeling! So, live on euphoric spirit and keep me hoping on :)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Happiness!
God always has my best interest in mind, and His best interest always exceeds my own expectations. I am under His covering and He, my glorious and mighty God, is looking out for me!
It's funny how we can feel like God isn't there and we start to doubt and in a moment of complete panic, when we finally realize He is all we have, we cry out in desperation, "Hey God, if you want me to do this...do this and I'll believe!" or "Do this thing and I'll know if you want me to take this path!" Well, that happened to me this week, and I realized something: God is looking out for me. He answers even the silliest prayers!!!!
This realization has totally transformed my week, and it's only Tuesday! I am on cloud 9 right now and I probably won't be coming down any time soon :) It's awesome knowing that God is in control, that His hand is in everything we do, and that I have people that I can turn to when I am in need of a ear to listen.
I've met some amazing people this year at NU. Really, like I am so incredibly blessed. These people completely blow my mind by their total trust in God and willingness to just sit down with me and discuss things out with me. I have no idea how I ever came to deserve such good friends...
I'm actually looking forward to next fall as well, which is a huge change from what I was feeling! I'm realizing that although I'll be living on a different floor from the rest of my 200 floor friends, it is possible to still be friends with them, as silly as that realization sounds! I'm excited to see what God has in store for the upcoming fall because this year has definitely changed me, and I can't wait to see the kind of person I am this time next year!
I just want to encourage you guys that God does listen to prayers and that He does give us the desires of our hearts even if they require a long waiting period. God doesn't forget our past prayers and He's always looking out for us!
It's funny how we can feel like God isn't there and we start to doubt and in a moment of complete panic, when we finally realize He is all we have, we cry out in desperation, "Hey God, if you want me to do this...do this and I'll believe!" or "Do this thing and I'll know if you want me to take this path!" Well, that happened to me this week, and I realized something: God is looking out for me. He answers even the silliest prayers!!!!
This realization has totally transformed my week, and it's only Tuesday! I am on cloud 9 right now and I probably won't be coming down any time soon :) It's awesome knowing that God is in control, that His hand is in everything we do, and that I have people that I can turn to when I am in need of a ear to listen.
I've met some amazing people this year at NU. Really, like I am so incredibly blessed. These people completely blow my mind by their total trust in God and willingness to just sit down with me and discuss things out with me. I have no idea how I ever came to deserve such good friends...
I'm actually looking forward to next fall as well, which is a huge change from what I was feeling! I'm realizing that although I'll be living on a different floor from the rest of my 200 floor friends, it is possible to still be friends with them, as silly as that realization sounds! I'm excited to see what God has in store for the upcoming fall because this year has definitely changed me, and I can't wait to see the kind of person I am this time next year!
I just want to encourage you guys that God does listen to prayers and that He does give us the desires of our hearts even if they require a long waiting period. God doesn't forget our past prayers and He's always looking out for us!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Safe and Sound (and somewhat overwhelmed).
Made it home from San Fran yesterday!
It was an amazing trip and God showed up in some amazing, amazing ways! During our seven performances and six days traveling up down down the Northern CA area it was great to see the community God is building within the choir.
Favorite part of the trip had to be Saturday. Waking up early and dressing in black and jeans, a nice change out of the normal slate gray suit and royal blue blouse (the norm Choralons attire) we headed down to the Tenderloin district. Ridden with crime and grime I was pretty intimidated driving down the busy streets of this huge city, which had the highest crime rate in the district. Our destination led us to this little park outside of the San Fran Gospel Mission. It was here that we had the amazing oppurtunity to make sandwiches, put together grocery bags, and then sing for the homeless and needy of the surrounding area. It was such an amazing experience being able to worship God in this crime infested city and seeing the potential that God had to be able to move and do miracles for and in these lost people.
For me, it was awesome to be able to have a sort of prequal to the things I feel God is leading me to do. I would love to get involved in missions right here in the U.S. (my point of interest being Nashville) so it was amazing to get the chance to experience first hand the kind of things I'll be seeing in the future.
Anyways, I am back in Washington, spending a couple days with my family up in Marysville, sleeping and writing that darn paper I decided to put off until the last minute (gotta love college!)... it's been a great, great Spring break and it still isn't over!
On the other hand, coming home brought with it some unexpected dilemmas. My receptionist job that I've been working at has kind of fallen throuhg the cracks as my list of things to-do has gotten bigger. I'm afraid if I quit though I won't have enough money to sustain myself... So, that's one are where I'm needing guidance from God.
The other is one on a more personal level but I'm sure God will reveal what is needed for me to do soon (I hope...). I'm kind of getting impatient with not knowing. And frankly, quite scared. I'm not sure if God is wanting me to take the plunge or if I am better suited just sitting on the sidelines. Because it's not just my personal feelings and well-being involved in this, there are others as well.
The thing is, I will feel like I'm hearing from God, telling me one thing and then I will be like, wait, that can't be right! I'm scared because I feel like I can't trust my feelings, that they will only lead to destruction, so I must turn to God, who I'm not sure is even saying anything at this point. I don't want to be stuck in the limbo stage anymore because I feel it's only going to bring destruction if I continue on in it. The gray area, the yellow line, isn't one that is trodden easily and eventually it's going to hurt someone...
Anyways, that is where I am at right now. I am also very hungry due to the fact that I haven't eaten dinner yet. I should perhaps find something to eat so I'm not totally starving when the family finally decides to go to Red Robin :) In the meantime I am listening to the faint cries of my dad and brother as they battle World 9 in Mario and as my thoughts continue to come out as a blur I am trusting God, trusting that He will reveal what I need to go in the coming weeks. In Him I know everything will turn out alright..
It was an amazing trip and God showed up in some amazing, amazing ways! During our seven performances and six days traveling up down down the Northern CA area it was great to see the community God is building within the choir.
Favorite part of the trip had to be Saturday. Waking up early and dressing in black and jeans, a nice change out of the normal slate gray suit and royal blue blouse (the norm Choralons attire) we headed down to the Tenderloin district. Ridden with crime and grime I was pretty intimidated driving down the busy streets of this huge city, which had the highest crime rate in the district. Our destination led us to this little park outside of the San Fran Gospel Mission. It was here that we had the amazing oppurtunity to make sandwiches, put together grocery bags, and then sing for the homeless and needy of the surrounding area. It was such an amazing experience being able to worship God in this crime infested city and seeing the potential that God had to be able to move and do miracles for and in these lost people.
For me, it was awesome to be able to have a sort of prequal to the things I feel God is leading me to do. I would love to get involved in missions right here in the U.S. (my point of interest being Nashville) so it was amazing to get the chance to experience first hand the kind of things I'll be seeing in the future.
Anyways, I am back in Washington, spending a couple days with my family up in Marysville, sleeping and writing that darn paper I decided to put off until the last minute (gotta love college!)... it's been a great, great Spring break and it still isn't over!
On the other hand, coming home brought with it some unexpected dilemmas. My receptionist job that I've been working at has kind of fallen throuhg the cracks as my list of things to-do has gotten bigger. I'm afraid if I quit though I won't have enough money to sustain myself... So, that's one are where I'm needing guidance from God.
The other is one on a more personal level but I'm sure God will reveal what is needed for me to do soon (I hope...). I'm kind of getting impatient with not knowing. And frankly, quite scared. I'm not sure if God is wanting me to take the plunge or if I am better suited just sitting on the sidelines. Because it's not just my personal feelings and well-being involved in this, there are others as well.
The thing is, I will feel like I'm hearing from God, telling me one thing and then I will be like, wait, that can't be right! I'm scared because I feel like I can't trust my feelings, that they will only lead to destruction, so I must turn to God, who I'm not sure is even saying anything at this point. I don't want to be stuck in the limbo stage anymore because I feel it's only going to bring destruction if I continue on in it. The gray area, the yellow line, isn't one that is trodden easily and eventually it's going to hurt someone...
Anyways, that is where I am at right now. I am also very hungry due to the fact that I haven't eaten dinner yet. I should perhaps find something to eat so I'm not totally starving when the family finally decides to go to Red Robin :) In the meantime I am listening to the faint cries of my dad and brother as they battle World 9 in Mario and as my thoughts continue to come out as a blur I am trusting God, trusting that He will reveal what I need to go in the coming weeks. In Him I know everything will turn out alright..
Thursday, March 4, 2010
3/4/10 - Spring Break!
Good morning! It is a rainy and misty day here in Kirkland, WA. But that's ok with me! My midterms are over and done with and at exactly 4am tomorrow morning I will be heading to Northern California for my school's choir trip!
Now, at first I wasn't too excited by this but you know what, I'm going to make the most of this trip and I have to say I am pretty stoked to hit up San Fran and go to Chinatown and take the Monorail and just people watch!
So, in the meantime I have a list of things that need to get done between now and 4am... for example:
Paint fingernails
Do laundry
Pack
Go to Target/Ross to find black pants and perhaps a new dress?
Start my paper for my Corinthians class
Return books to the library
Clean my room
Sounds fun, right?! :)
I am SO excited to be out of school for the next 10 days and to have nothing to worry about except for getting sun burned (or rained on in this case since it's been raining the past week in San Fran). Either way, I know God is going to show up in amazing ways this week and I am just so happy to be able to be apart of that. It's going to be a tiring but super fun week (fingers crossed!) and frankly, I'm just excited to escape NU for a while!
So, it is now 11:35am on Thursday and my blog is now done. Off to lunch and then let the madness begin! :)
Now, at first I wasn't too excited by this but you know what, I'm going to make the most of this trip and I have to say I am pretty stoked to hit up San Fran and go to Chinatown and take the Monorail and just people watch!
So, in the meantime I have a list of things that need to get done between now and 4am... for example:
Paint fingernails
Do laundry
Pack
Go to Target/Ross to find black pants and perhaps a new dress?
Start my paper for my Corinthians class
Return books to the library
Clean my room
Sounds fun, right?! :)
I am SO excited to be out of school for the next 10 days and to have nothing to worry about except for getting sun burned (or rained on in this case since it's been raining the past week in San Fran). Either way, I know God is going to show up in amazing ways this week and I am just so happy to be able to be apart of that. It's going to be a tiring but super fun week (fingers crossed!) and frankly, I'm just excited to escape NU for a while!
So, it is now 11:35am on Thursday and my blog is now done. Off to lunch and then let the madness begin! :)
Monday, March 1, 2010
Head Held High.
"Head Held High" by Warren Barfield
They say you learn from your mistakes
Well I guess I should be a genius
For all the times I’ve fallen on my face
Tangled in my weakness
Wishing someone would say
Keep your head held high
Don’t stop believing
You are God’s child
And His strength is stronger than your weakness
Keep your head held high
Well it’s a crying shame
We’re walking around with our secrets
So afraid of what others might think
Living safe and living defeated
Wanting someone to say
We should confess our sin
We should love
Church, it’s time we begin
To build one another up
Come on
Keep your head held high
Don’t stop, don’t stop believing, no
You are God’s child
And His strength is stronger than your weakness
Keep your head held high
Don’t stop, don’t stop believing
You are God’s child
And His strength is stronger than your weakness
Keep your head held high
They say you learn from your mistakes
Well I guess I should be a genius
For all the times I’ve fallen on my face
Tangled in my weakness
Wishing someone would say
Keep your head held high
Don’t stop believing
You are God’s child
And His strength is stronger than your weakness
Keep your head held high
Well it’s a crying shame
We’re walking around with our secrets
So afraid of what others might think
Living safe and living defeated
Wanting someone to say
We should confess our sin
We should love
Church, it’s time we begin
To build one another up
Come on
Keep your head held high
Don’t stop, don’t stop believing, no
You are God’s child
And His strength is stronger than your weakness
Keep your head held high
Don’t stop, don’t stop believing
You are God’s child
And His strength is stronger than your weakness
Keep your head held high
Mountains out of Molehills.
It's funny how big an issue can look when you're in it and then you take a step back and you realize "hey, that wasn't so bad after all!" (Plus, it helps when you have a great mom who will listen to you whenever and about whatever... especially regarding situations that seem to be the central point of conversation for many of the talks).
I am work at the moment. Just finished an iced tall soy latte :) I should probably be working on my book review thingy for New Testament but I felt like a blog was necessary so that I may digest my own thoughts before becoming overwhelmed with the various thoughts of Bruce W. Longenecker (the author of the "Lost Letters of Pergamum").
I had a fantastically amazing weekend! Saturday I slept until the glorious hour of 12:15 in the afternoon. The rest of the day was spent doing homework while conversing with some incredible people. Dinner was eaten with my dear friends Josiah, Trinity, Luke, and Brian in the caf (which happened to serve one of the best meals they have yet to make all semester!) and after a run to Target and a spontaneous trip to the park my Saturday night was quite spent and I was a very happy girl when I finally lay down and falling asleep to the music stylings of Hillsong I was quite at peace (yes, I realize how long that sentence was!).
Yesterday, Sunday I had the pleasure of attending church at Overlake. It was SO SO nice being at a church again without being obligated to sing for hundreds of people. It was nice to sit among the youth of the Student Ministries and just be "Brie" without any previous engagements hanging in the air. Lunch and the rest of the day was spent with the aforementioned Josiah Harmon and his family. It was a splendid time and the night resolved quite successfully.
So, why did I mention being overwhelmed with little situations? Why did I make it a point to address that sometimes we make mountains out of molehills? Because we do. And although yesterday was an amazingly relaxing and enjoyable day, I became victim of this theory and was completely overwhelmed upon reaching Northwest later last night. I was so overwhelmed by this very insignificant situation that I have not been able to stop worrying about it all day until just a few minutes ago when I hung up with my mom.
Our minds over think things to such a great extent sometimes it makes me wonder what God is thinking up there in Heaven when we suddenly become so involved in our own situations...
"My child!" He would say, "Do not worry! You see the fields of flowers and how elegantly dressed they are! How much more do I care about YOU, My child, whom I sent My Son to die for, than those flowers? Do not worry! You are forever under and in My hand. Relax in Me". He would then smile, pick us up, dust us off and kiss us gently on the forehead. Placing us under His hand we would once again begin out journey down this road called life.
Guys, I am the first person to freak out about a situation, to get the butterflies in the stomach and to feel completely overwhelmed. But it is not worth it! Believe me! God has everything under control, He KNOWS what has happened, what is happening, and what's going to happen. He knows, sees, and controls all and He won't let us fail. Our little finite mistakes are NOTHING compared to the great plan He has for my life, your life, our lives. A very wise woman once told me "We aren't big enough to mess up God's plan for our lives" and I think she was very right. We aren't big enough to mess His purpose, His plan, His way for our life so why do we worry and make little things seem bigger than they are?
With God we have nothing to fear, even the past, even the future.
I am work at the moment. Just finished an iced tall soy latte :) I should probably be working on my book review thingy for New Testament but I felt like a blog was necessary so that I may digest my own thoughts before becoming overwhelmed with the various thoughts of Bruce W. Longenecker (the author of the "Lost Letters of Pergamum").
I had a fantastically amazing weekend! Saturday I slept until the glorious hour of 12:15 in the afternoon. The rest of the day was spent doing homework while conversing with some incredible people. Dinner was eaten with my dear friends Josiah, Trinity, Luke, and Brian in the caf (which happened to serve one of the best meals they have yet to make all semester!) and after a run to Target and a spontaneous trip to the park my Saturday night was quite spent and I was a very happy girl when I finally lay down and falling asleep to the music stylings of Hillsong I was quite at peace (yes, I realize how long that sentence was!).
Yesterday, Sunday I had the pleasure of attending church at Overlake. It was SO SO nice being at a church again without being obligated to sing for hundreds of people. It was nice to sit among the youth of the Student Ministries and just be "Brie" without any previous engagements hanging in the air. Lunch and the rest of the day was spent with the aforementioned Josiah Harmon and his family. It was a splendid time and the night resolved quite successfully.
So, why did I mention being overwhelmed with little situations? Why did I make it a point to address that sometimes we make mountains out of molehills? Because we do. And although yesterday was an amazingly relaxing and enjoyable day, I became victim of this theory and was completely overwhelmed upon reaching Northwest later last night. I was so overwhelmed by this very insignificant situation that I have not been able to stop worrying about it all day until just a few minutes ago when I hung up with my mom.
Our minds over think things to such a great extent sometimes it makes me wonder what God is thinking up there in Heaven when we suddenly become so involved in our own situations...
"My child!" He would say, "Do not worry! You see the fields of flowers and how elegantly dressed they are! How much more do I care about YOU, My child, whom I sent My Son to die for, than those flowers? Do not worry! You are forever under and in My hand. Relax in Me". He would then smile, pick us up, dust us off and kiss us gently on the forehead. Placing us under His hand we would once again begin out journey down this road called life.
Guys, I am the first person to freak out about a situation, to get the butterflies in the stomach and to feel completely overwhelmed. But it is not worth it! Believe me! God has everything under control, He KNOWS what has happened, what is happening, and what's going to happen. He knows, sees, and controls all and He won't let us fail. Our little finite mistakes are NOTHING compared to the great plan He has for my life, your life, our lives. A very wise woman once told me "We aren't big enough to mess up God's plan for our lives" and I think she was very right. We aren't big enough to mess His purpose, His plan, His way for our life so why do we worry and make little things seem bigger than they are?
With God we have nothing to fear, even the past, even the future.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Hard Days.
Everything seems to be going quite nicely. Then WHAM! I feel like crap. Awesome.
Friggin' mood swings.
GAH.
I just want to find someone who is going to be there for me when I need it most. Someone who will text me just to say "what's up". Someone who will genuinely ask how I'm doing. Someone who will take an interest in my life. Someone who is willing to make the commitment for the long haul and love me for me.
I guess my feelings get ahead of my mind because I thought, for a brief second, I had found that person.
Then the WHAM! moment happens and I am down on my knees and wondering if it'll ever happen to me. That someone, not me, will take the initiative and care about me and ask me the questions.
I guess I just want the feeling that someone of pure happiness that comes from texting or calling you to let you know you're being thought of. It's the smile on your face when you realize they are the perfect person for you. That although they aren't without their faults, their perfections outweigh their imperfections by a landslide. That's the kind of thing I'm waiting for. And right now it doesn't seen like I'll get it.
I just wish I knew what was going to happen. Why did God let me have this feelings? I have never experienced anything like this, so why taunt me with them and then take it away, leaving me wanting and feeling empty? It's not fair. It quite frankly sucks. And I'm sick of feeling this way.
GOD WHY DID YOU LET ME FEEL THIS WAY?!
I really wish I had never had these feelings. Especially since they have led to such disappointment and cruel emotions.
Is this something really too hard to ask for?
I don't know why I feel this way. But I don't like it.
Friggin' mood swings.
GAH.
I just want to find someone who is going to be there for me when I need it most. Someone who will text me just to say "what's up". Someone who will genuinely ask how I'm doing. Someone who will take an interest in my life. Someone who is willing to make the commitment for the long haul and love me for me.
I guess my feelings get ahead of my mind because I thought, for a brief second, I had found that person.
Then the WHAM! moment happens and I am down on my knees and wondering if it'll ever happen to me. That someone, not me, will take the initiative and care about me and ask me the questions.
I guess I just want the feeling that someone of pure happiness that comes from texting or calling you to let you know you're being thought of. It's the smile on your face when you realize they are the perfect person for you. That although they aren't without their faults, their perfections outweigh their imperfections by a landslide. That's the kind of thing I'm waiting for. And right now it doesn't seen like I'll get it.
I just wish I knew what was going to happen. Why did God let me have this feelings? I have never experienced anything like this, so why taunt me with them and then take it away, leaving me wanting and feeling empty? It's not fair. It quite frankly sucks. And I'm sick of feeling this way.
GOD WHY DID YOU LET ME FEEL THIS WAY?!
I really wish I had never had these feelings. Especially since they have led to such disappointment and cruel emotions.
Is this something really too hard to ask for?
I don't know why I feel this way. But I don't like it.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
1/23/2010
I don't deserve the life God has given me, yet He gives it to me freely, without question.... Wow. Incredible... I thank you.
I have officially added another year to my short-lived life. Eighteen came and went, and suddenly I find myself nineteen. Sure, not alot has changed. I look the same, talk the same, think the same.. the one thing that has changed is the fact that I am one step closer to being that adult.. you know, that adult who is responsible, independent, and just well, "grown-up"? Yep, that's me.. one step closer. And it's freaking me out!
It's funny thinking back to the first grade, thinking "Wow, when I turn eighteen I'm going to be soooo old!" I had imagined what I was going to look like, what my life would be like. My life has actually become what I thought it would.. I am in college loving (and sometimes hating) it. It really makes me laugh to think back what I thought I would look like. I had imagined a long blonde-haired, glasses-wearing, very professional looking young woman. I though that when I turned eighteen, that would be the pinnacle; I would finally be that adult. Independent and most likely famous (the dream of peforming on Broadway in New York was always a fantasy I had).
Looking in the mirror it's funny to see the kind of young adult I have become. I do have blonde hair, but the glasses have been replaced with contacts, and the professional has been replaced with...the laid back? And I certainly am not completely independent, and most definately not famous.
My childhood dream of becoming a veteranarian is far from view, replaced with the calling to be a missionary. I'm still the somewhat quiet but silly girl who loves God with all my heart. I am still grateful for the friends and family that surround me, although the friends are not all the same. I think though, I am even more in awe of how amazing the people that surround me are. They are the most gracious, loving, caring, and God-fearing people I have ever met. Honestly, I am honored to be apart of their lives.. it astounds me that God has blessed me with a fantastically wonderful family and group of peers. Truly, I cannot imagine how I ever came to deserve them. :)
This has been one of the most singularly incredible birthdays I have ever had. Even without the presents or balloons, just knowing that my friends care about me that much and would really do anything for me is amazingly humbling; I am soooo, sooo, sooo blessed.
Anyways, now I sit at my desk at NU listening to the epic music stylings of Roman Holiday and hoping my homework will get done by itself (it never hurts to hope!) :P
Family, friends - thanks for being such an incredible part of my life! You don't know how much I appreciate you!
I have officially added another year to my short-lived life. Eighteen came and went, and suddenly I find myself nineteen. Sure, not alot has changed. I look the same, talk the same, think the same.. the one thing that has changed is the fact that I am one step closer to being that adult.. you know, that adult who is responsible, independent, and just well, "grown-up"? Yep, that's me.. one step closer. And it's freaking me out!
It's funny thinking back to the first grade, thinking "Wow, when I turn eighteen I'm going to be soooo old!" I had imagined what I was going to look like, what my life would be like. My life has actually become what I thought it would.. I am in college loving (and sometimes hating) it. It really makes me laugh to think back what I thought I would look like. I had imagined a long blonde-haired, glasses-wearing, very professional looking young woman. I though that when I turned eighteen, that would be the pinnacle; I would finally be that adult. Independent and most likely famous (the dream of peforming on Broadway in New York was always a fantasy I had).
Looking in the mirror it's funny to see the kind of young adult I have become. I do have blonde hair, but the glasses have been replaced with contacts, and the professional has been replaced with...the laid back? And I certainly am not completely independent, and most definately not famous.
My childhood dream of becoming a veteranarian is far from view, replaced with the calling to be a missionary. I'm still the somewhat quiet but silly girl who loves God with all my heart. I am still grateful for the friends and family that surround me, although the friends are not all the same. I think though, I am even more in awe of how amazing the people that surround me are. They are the most gracious, loving, caring, and God-fearing people I have ever met. Honestly, I am honored to be apart of their lives.. it astounds me that God has blessed me with a fantastically wonderful family and group of peers. Truly, I cannot imagine how I ever came to deserve them. :)
This has been one of the most singularly incredible birthdays I have ever had. Even without the presents or balloons, just knowing that my friends care about me that much and would really do anything for me is amazingly humbling; I am soooo, sooo, sooo blessed.
Anyways, now I sit at my desk at NU listening to the epic music stylings of Roman Holiday and hoping my homework will get done by itself (it never hurts to hope!) :P
Family, friends - thanks for being such an incredible part of my life! You don't know how much I appreciate you!
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