Stressin' out does no good; so why do I do it?

August is now only three days away. Three whole, not so far away days. It's freaking me out.

Summer is usually a time for relaxation, and stress-free weekends, but at this minute I'm not feeling so relaxed. I'm not feeling so stress-free.

I recently applied for a loan, but to my dismay, realized I had applied for the wrong one.
Thus, the knot in my stomach came into being.

Realizing my mistake, I cancelled the loan and frantically starting searching a new PRIVATE loan. Scouring the internet I came across this website, and within moments I was a applying for a loan for the sum amount of $19,200 dollars. Yes, somewhat frightening. The thing with loans is that, is hits you about half way into the application process that, just in a matter of maybe a week you will now be in debt. You will owe money, that you do not have, and really, can't even imagine having.

This was the point where the knot in my stomach became a monster, writhing and wriggling inside my stomach.

Last night I finished up the application process. All I have to do now is wait. Waiting, in my opinion is the hardest test God gives us. Waiting requires patience, relience on God, and confidence that it will all work out. Sometimes these requirements are easier, mostly always, said than done. Waiting requires us to pass through this limbo stage in which we are unsure and unstable, and most of all uncertain. Uncertainity has always been my greatest fear. Knowing that I can't see the outcome; that my fate, so to speak, is up to someone else besides me, frightens me. The big picture is that I am not the one certifying my loan, guaranteeing myself a spot in college, or even giving myself the amount of hours on my work schedule needed to pay my bills. All I can really do it pray.

But maybe that's all I really NEED to do. These trials and times of struggle we are put through, may seem like sufferings to us, but to God they are tests. Tests that challenge our worldy way of thinking and self relience so that we can totally and sincerely realize that all we need, all we have ever needed was Christ. He alone can make the things we desire and wish for happen.




*God, I pray that everything will work out. God, I pray that I will not rely on what I have and what I can do, but what You can do through me. I give all this to You. Amen.